Ühe naise lugu: Tinderdate tegi üksikemaks

27-aastane Tessa Dijkgraaf tinderdas end otse vallaliselust üksikemaks. Üks kohting, ühed joogid ja üks öö ning 9 kuud hiljem pole ta enam kunagi üksi.

Rasedusest teada saades rääkis ta ka lapse isaga, kellega tolleks ajaks vaid sõbrad oldi. Mees mõistis kiirelt, et naine aborti ei soovi teha ning nii ei osalegi isa lapse elus. Tessa lisas, et tuttavate reaktsioonid olid üllatavad. Pea igaüks neist küsis, kas kavatseb tõesti lapse alles jätta: «Inimesed kahtlesid iga päev minu otsuses».

Lapse isa ei maksa lapsele toetusrahasid, kuid vaatamata sellele on ema kindel, et kui mees peaks soovima, on tal koht lapse elus. Tessa sõnul pole ta kunagi midagi mehelt oodanud või küsinud, ta on õnnelik, et saab endale ja lapsele pakkuda ise kõike, mida vaja. 

Tänaseks on Tessal 17-kuune väike tüdruk, nimega Memphis. Algselt kardetud üksikemadus on pisitütre ema sõnul lihtsam kui ta arvas, kirjutab DailyMail. Tänu sellele, et tal pole kasvatamisel partnerit, pakutakse talle rohkem abi. Naine sõnab, et tema hirmud olid alusetud.

 

When I was preparing for my birth I hired a professional support team. I researched like fucking crazy, I took courses, I prepared my body and my mind to the best of my ability. I visualised what I wanted, and I ticked off step by step the things I needed to do to get me there. Yet, "You are lucky you got the birth you wanted". I wanted to breastfeed, so before my baby was born I learnt everything I could about my body and what it would go through. I was prepared for sore, cracked nipples, and I knew the cringing every time babe would latch would pass. I even had a lactation consultant aligned with my values ready to go before I had even given birth, should I have needed her. Yet, "You are lucky you could breastfeed". My best friend grew a business from the ground up, through a husband working fifo, birthing and raising two children, moving across country, post natal depression, living in another country to her family and now, going through a serperation she continues to build. Yet, "omg she is SO lucky". "Lucky" . It can't just be me that feels undermined by this word?! I do it to myself more often then not - rather then standing up and feeling proud I dismiss it as luck, feeling guilt for others not being so "lucky". Sometimes things just don't go the way we want no matter how much planning or hard work we put into it... and that's seriously unlucky. Sometimes more then that. Sometimes absolutely devastating. Amazing women putting in all of the effort and not getting what they visioned for themselves. All my love and respect and healing to those women (I'm one 'em, often! ). But that doesn't mean that we should be undermining the women who DID get what they want and worked hard for by dismissing their experiences as lucky. Grateful? Fuck yes. Endlessly grateful. Lucky? Not this time. : @_erikrosenberg

A post shared by Tessa (@memphis.and.me) on Aug 4, 2017 at 1:16am PDT

 

A post shared by Tessa (@memphis.and.me) on May 20, 2017 at 3:47am PDT

 

A post shared by Tessa (@memphis.and.me) on Feb 22, 2017 at 2:05am PST